wisdom

I haven't made New Year's resolutions in years. When I was younger, I loved writing goals for the day, the week, the summer or just about anytime. I guess when you have four kids and you homeschool, just getting a shower each day is a great goal. And there are mental goals you set often, but don't write down.
This year, I have a goal to write more, both in my journals and on my blog. I have to admit that this feels more out of necessity than a luxury of time and energy. I realized several years ago that when I am writing, I am thinking. When I am writing, I am also confronting the reality of my inner thoughts and-- potentially, giving them the light and breathing room of being out in the open rather than hidden away.
When I am facing difficult situations or emotional stress, I find it most hard to open up a journal or tap away on a keyboard. My first instinct is to hide away, tuck my emotions in tight and let silence blanket me. This is, however, not good for anyone in the long run. Thoughts untended can brew, wounds can fester-- silence can be more of a prison than a refuge.
So why am I writing this? Well, Steve just found out that he has been nominated to do a twelve month unaccompanied tour to Tunisia, starting this summer after we leave Jordan.
Ouch.
And let me take a few steps back to say this-- I am now five months pregnant with another little girl, due in May. We feel so blessed with this pregnancy, yet for the first few months, it was a lot to process through.
We have been here before-- moving with a newborn, having to say goodbye for a year-- yet not at the same time.
I am starting a new bible study in a few weeks-- a study on the book of James by Beth Moore. In preparation, I've been reading a commentary a good friend of mine loaned me, called Be Mature by Warren Wiersbe. In just the first chapter, I have been amazed at how perfectly James' words are for our present situation, for his first exhortation is to "count it ALL joy when you face trials of many kinds." This command has always felt beyond my reach, as if my human reasoning, my faith and my real time situation just couldn't intersect.
Yes, they don't. Which is why we need God's wisdom, which he gives to all "without finding fault." I always wondered why the passage seemed to skip from joy in trials to asking for wisdom because I couldn't see the direct relationship between the two. That is where Wiersbe helped me connect my thoughts-- that in my present trial, I ask God for wisdom so that I can use every opportunity the situation presents for my good and for His glory. I need to ask for wisdom before I ask for strength, grace, help, because wisdom puts the pieces of my day together through His perspective to see that Christ indeed works even a mucky day together for good for those who love Him.
So if you are reading this, can you please pray for us, that God would give us the wisdom to seek His good each day, to be so knit into His love that the present and future difficult season would continually present us with opportunities to thank and praise Him in spite of the obvious trials. Pray for wisdom as we need to make many decisions regarding where the kids and I live and other household decisions.

soli deo gloria