Weight
What do you say when there are no words?
My parents and sister's family live almost twenty miles from Newtown, CT, roughly a forty minute trip. The pictures beneath the headlines look like the backdrop of my childhood-- small town Connecticut in winter, with yellowed grass and skeletal trees looming above narrow, winding roads. An idyllic place to raise a family. Quiet. Safe.
My heart is heavy. Shaken.
The irony of it all is that there have been more shootings in the U.S. since we left this summer than here in Jordan, though I still struggle with fear almost daily.
How could this happen,
in small town Connecticut,
in an elementary school?
How could you look a child of five in the face and...
They were five and six year olds, just grown out of baby sizes, still needing someone to wipe their noses and tie their shoes. My third will be in kindergarten next year. Children at this age still hold the sweetness of innocence in their words, their hearts.
How...?
We buried our sweet Evelyn with tears, murmuring that no parent should ever have to bury their own child. Yet the funerals have begun, with two five and six year olds buried yesterdays, two today.
My heart is shaken and I yet I know Him and I cannot imagine the grief He holds for these...whose heart is ever tender for the little children. How He who created us as His image bearers would, in the fierce act of love, allow us the freedom to will, act and choose so that we could truly love and not just be programmed to love, on auto-pilot, so to speak.
And in this act of love, in His sovereignty, to allow choices to have their consequences in this fallen world yearning for redemption...
And because I have no words, I lean on Him, the Living Word,
...He will be the stability of your times,
- Isaiah 33:6
He is not the cause, but the answer. He will not provide illusions but a way through the reality which is the Only Way to find peace in the midst of such brutal unfairness and horrific consequences of evil.
God, have mercy on us, have mercy on America and bring those whose hearts are shattered to You. Only you can reach to the depths of their pain, You who watched as Your Son died a brutal death. Meet us in our deepest anguish, in our unanswered questions. We need you.
soli deo gloria
My parents and sister's family live almost twenty miles from Newtown, CT, roughly a forty minute trip. The pictures beneath the headlines look like the backdrop of my childhood-- small town Connecticut in winter, with yellowed grass and skeletal trees looming above narrow, winding roads. An idyllic place to raise a family. Quiet. Safe.
My heart is heavy. Shaken.
The irony of it all is that there have been more shootings in the U.S. since we left this summer than here in Jordan, though I still struggle with fear almost daily.
How could this happen,
in small town Connecticut,
in an elementary school?
How could you look a child of five in the face and...
They were five and six year olds, just grown out of baby sizes, still needing someone to wipe their noses and tie their shoes. My third will be in kindergarten next year. Children at this age still hold the sweetness of innocence in their words, their hearts.
How...?
We buried our sweet Evelyn with tears, murmuring that no parent should ever have to bury their own child. Yet the funerals have begun, with two five and six year olds buried yesterdays, two today.
My heart is shaken and I yet I know Him and I cannot imagine the grief He holds for these...whose heart is ever tender for the little children. How He who created us as His image bearers would, in the fierce act of love, allow us the freedom to will, act and choose so that we could truly love and not just be programmed to love, on auto-pilot, so to speak.
And in this act of love, in His sovereignty, to allow choices to have their consequences in this fallen world yearning for redemption...
And because I have no words, I lean on Him, the Living Word,
...He will be the stability of your times,
- Isaiah 33:6
He is not the cause, but the answer. He will not provide illusions but a way through the reality which is the Only Way to find peace in the midst of such brutal unfairness and horrific consequences of evil.
God, have mercy on us, have mercy on America and bring those whose hearts are shattered to You. Only you can reach to the depths of their pain, You who watched as Your Son died a brutal death. Meet us in our deepest anguish, in our unanswered questions. We need you.
soli deo gloria
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