forgiveness

I am holding my resentment in my hands, turning it over and over. Each thought that I allow to remain continues to build, simmer, crowd out His life in me. I remember a gesture, a word spoken and it re-opens the wound. Is this self-defense? self-preservation? self-justification?
When I hold onto my anger, I am choosing not to forgive. When I review the past, I allow myself to be stuck in the past. I choose not to move forward. When I set my heart on my offended thoughts, I magnify them.
I want to magnify Christ in my life. My inner thoughts, the ones I think when no one else is looking, translate into my attitude toward my family, my world. The enemy wants me to believe that taking each thought captive is too difficult. The reality is that it took only one thought at a time to get me into this fix. It will take only one chosen thought at a time to get me out of it.
The reality is that only in Christ can I hope to forgive as Christ forgave me. And that is what I am called to do. Not only for the other, but for my heart. Forgiving releases me from the vice grip of anger, bitterness, resentment. It enables me to be controlled- not by the other, but by Christ, whose yoke is easy and light.
Only then can love freely come, not bound or constricted by some kind of rationalized care. I forgive, even if forgiveness is not asked for. That is how Christ forgave, even as He hung on a cross. This forgiveness is not earth-easy; it is the stuff of the Divine. It is His heart, His hands, His enabling that allows me to place a peace lily at the doorstep of the one whom I have offended.
"We demolish arguements and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Amen. Thanks be to God for His rich mercy!

and for...

#60 Emmy rolling over on her back so that we can pet her tummy. This is the
closest I've seen to a dog grinning.
#61 Abigail asking for "woo-hoo tisses" before bed (doggie kisses!)
#62 Watching Nathanael growing into becoming his puppy's young master
#63 Friday mornings munching on donuts and bagels with Lydia and Abigail
#64 God's sovereignty and care for us amid new laws that will affect
lives greatly, for good or bad.
#65 Lydie making new friends, growing up and blossoming as a "big girl"
#66 Steve's new job and chances to grow professionally
#67 Reconnecting with a dear friend this week; walking together even though
we're countries apart
#68 Nathanael getting the team ball for three solid hits
#69 Phone talks with fellow oaklings
#70 Lydia's love for reading; Her countless "I love u momy!" notes.