names written in the sand

I am searching for beauty. Not the white-washed, manicured kind that I see everyday driving past subdivisions with their gold-lettered signs and meticulously kept landscaping. This draws my attention, but, like good deeds without love, is like a clanging cymbal.

I want to find beauty because when I find true beauty, I find God. In the midst of changing poopy diapers, scrubbing dishes and swiffering my tile floors that never seem to get fully clean, I want to find beauty. grace. hope. joy. encouragement. I am longing for eternity, and I have the promise from Psalm 27 that I will see God's goodness "in the land of the living."

Ann Voskamp wrote in her blog that "as a Christ-follower, the pursuit of beauty is an act of redemption." Only God can take the mess of our lives and create something breathtakingly beautiful. Only God can take the pain of living in a broken world and weave from it something that adds unprecedented texture and color to the tapestry of our lives. Only God.

Beauty from ashes.

I took this picture at the beach when no one was looking. Found a quill-shaped, sun-dried seaweed fragment and used it to write a name. A name that I don't ever want to forget. A name that Christ knows intimately because He spoke her life into being. And a name that He himself has written in the Book of Life.

Learning to be thankful for each and every moment that comes my way, filtered through Grace, is a pathway to Beauty. So the last few weeks have been emotionally difficult and I seek to find a word to bring my heart back from the place where it was hiding. Sitting in bed, Bible open with my journal, I finally cried out to God for a word, any word. He met me in Isaiah 50:4-- The Sovereign LORD has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary." It is sheer beauty when God meets you and when He brings a word.

Another book on my nightstand is Henri Nouwen's Turn My Mourning Into Dancing." In it, he reflects on the process of grieving as a way to enter into a deeper love walk with Christ. Another place of beauty, where I met a kindred spirit, saw God's grace.

Other glimpses of His beauty...

...soft baby skin and sun-kissed hair,

...hearing Nathanael say, "I forgive you, Lydie..."

...endless ocean,

...playing ring-around-the-rosy with Lydie and Abigail,

...Lydie's sweet smile...

...restful sleep after a night of frequent baby wakings,

...grace in spite of the frequent baby wakings,

...pancake dinner after a busy day,

...lydie learning to ride a bike without training wheels,

...a family of six little pumpkins,

...Dad holding Abigail, peaceful

...cooler days with breeze,

...quiet nights to think alone, pray

...the value of a single life.